I'm Determined

Each day that I wake up and see the sunrise is a true blessing to me. Having been born into two families with a myriad of cancers, I am more than happy to see each new day and I do not take that for granted. Cancer is a disease that strikes numerous families and mine is no different. From my grandmother to my uncles, to my aunts, and to my mother, the Big C has touched my family for many years. And as I mature in this life, I constantly wonder "will I be next?". Will I ever be diagnosed with the Big C?

While I stay on top of my doctor visits and my physicians follow me very closely because of my family history, there have been times when the doctors have had to order additional tests to rule out the Big C during certain exams. It is those moments that I cry and am afraid because of what the doctors can come back and inform me of. It is those times that I cannot sleep and my face breaks out because of stress. It is those times that my aunt and I talk and pray more often than any other time. It is those times that my children continuously call to check on me. It is those times that I take the time to reflect on how blessed my life has been. It is those times that I love who I am and all that I am destined to be.

So far, I have been extremely lucky . . . or should I call it blessed? But those exams that some people have to have once a year, I have to have every 6 months. And because I am keenly aware of my family history, I am not only concerned about my health, I have a deep concern for the health of my daughters and my grandchildren. My prayer to the Almighty is that he break this generational curse and remove ALL cancers from my family and family members to come. I have learned to depend on God and I am depending on Him to do what he has promised each of us. I have grown in my spiritual walk and I have learned to trust and depend on Him.

My belief dictates to me that we can endure all that we are confronted with. I truly believe that God provides each of us with the strength to excel and go through those things that challenge and test our belief in Him. I am committed to seeing this thing through. I can do it because I have a Father that has my back and He has never told a lie.

I ask myself again, am I lucky or am I blessed? The answer is simple - I am blessed because I know who I am and whose I am. If we have God, we have all that we will ever need!

Smooches . . .